Do you ever wake-up and look in the mirror and realise that you’re no-where where you imagined you’d be? This has happened to me every single day since last Tuesday but today it feels more heavy than ever. It isn’t all bad…. I am rebranding Women Who Slay, I know my blog can grow and I am prepared to put in the work but at the same time, redundancy is around the corner, I am battling to clear debts I incurred after the closure of my online magazine and I feel deeply overwhelmed and very very stressed. So here’s a little life update……
Now don’t get me wrong. There is a resilience that has come through quite strong in me over the last few weeks. I’ve gotten a second job and I do this two mornings a week and then I go to my 5 day a week job while I work on redeveloping my coaching brand and changing its overall direction. IT’S A LOT! and I can’t lie, I do feel anxious, afraid and some days just plain overwhelmed because life as I know it has not turned out to be what was not what I planned for it to be.
I think you can plan and plan and plan but with life there has to be an element of luck. Where opportunity and luck meet and then something magical happens.
That part just hasn’t happened yet and it’s scary cause as much as I know I am a survivor and a winner, the winning streak that was so big just a few years ago, just hasn’t been of late. And I guess that’s okay too.
Because one thing I do have is a sense of pride. I am not sitting here, accepting my fate and feeling sorry for myself. I am working, filming, writing and pushing myself, like I always have done. I feel extremely proud that I am not giving in and although I am exhausted, not getting many moments to spend money on myself (the nails and pedicure trips are currently a thing of my past….) I am taking charge of my situation and I am really happy with the direction I am taking Women Who Slay in and this blog.
One thing, I have always said is that I have wanted to use this platform to be as transparent as I possibly can be because ultimately, this is my little space on the web and one that belongs to me and my thoughts and I want to be able to look back at these moments and think… look just how far I’ve come. I am more than aware that things are not as I want them to be but I have two options, I can either sit, cry or wallow in it, or I can choose to push harder and keep trying and I am focused on the latter.
I am going to be sharing more posts like these over the coming months. It’s cathartic and a process I am more than adamant I will grow that more stronger from.
My outfit is very cute PJ’s set from Shein which will be featured in an upcoming vlog on my YouTube channel… have you subscribed yet??