It honestly doesn’t matter who you are…rich or poor, black or white, religious or atheist.. (you get the drift!) you are going to come up against those horrible days where you will feel like nothing is going right and everything that could possibly go wrong is going more wrong than ever before. It is those days that you have to leave the house but don’t want to. Or have to speak on the phone, attend an important meeting or simply engage with someone outside of yourself that you really don’t feel like you can face.
Believe me, I’ve been there and there has been more than one occasion in the past few months where I have felt like all is lost and that there really is no point in going forward. However, I can honestly say that these negative thought patterns pass and never ever stay as a permanent part of my life because I take the necessary steps to ensure they never ever over stay their welcome.
I have a number of things that I do to ensure I keep happy, focused and pro-active when those negative thoughts rear their ugly head. I hope when reading them, you get something positive from them and that they help you as much as they have proved invaluable to me.
1. Listen to the songs that make you feel good
We have all put on our favourite tracks and pretended we are singers. (Yes, we’ve all been there) but nothing makes you feel more thankful to be alive than a good sing- song.I have an extensive music collection which I turn to when I’m feeling happy or sad. Music is a powerful tool and one that evokes every form of emotion. Playing just a few minutes of my favourite tracks can help to lift my mood and help me to feel refocused. There is a song for every feeling and I am happy to say I have my go to tracks when I need that much needed boost.
2. Write down and read over past achievements
I work with vulnerable adults by day and much of my work sees me conduct personal appraisals or reviews to chart their progress. These quarterly reviews looks at the positive strides they have made over the few months and sets outs goals to achieve and work towards completing. What I often find however is that they often don’t feel like they have achieved much in their lives. They look at their successes and don’t gain much joy from them because some where inside, they always feel that they are not good enough.
I feel like at some time or another we all feel a sense of self doubt and we don’t feel that we have achieved as much as we should or believe we could have in life. What I am finally coming to realise is that we are all on our own individual path of discovery. How one person lives there life is different to that of another and it’s only when we can begin to appreciate the steps we are taking towards our own destiny, that positive things will present themselves. Waking up in the morning makes you a success, gaining good grades in a test makes you a success, getting up each morning and taking at least one step towards your goal makes you a success.
I write down my goals and review past achievements regularly as a little reminder to myself that things may not be how I want them to be, but at least I never give up and I keep moving forward, that is an achievement in itself.
3. Reach out to your inner circle
I know hundreds of people. That goes without saying; just look at my Facebook friends list as confirmation of that. However, I have a small number of people that I can honestly call my friends. They are there through thick and thin and give me much needed advice and support when I need it the most. It’s so important to surround yourself with people who want you to grow and to advance. If you have true friends that have your back, in times of trouble you can turn to them and with their help and encouragement; you can without a doubt get back to your best.
4. Speak life into yourself…
Affirmations are powerful tools. I’ve seen it with my own eyes how things can spiral out of control and become increasingly worse when I think and speak negatively on the subject. However, I have learned that when I say positive words to myself, things almost instantly feel better. There is nothing more detrimental to the self that feeding your psyche with negativity. Every time you catch yourself putting yourself down or speaking ill of yourself, catch those negative thoughts, throw them away and replace them with positive affirmations instead. We all deserve to be happy, but it’s so important to recognise that happiness is an inside job and first starts with you.
5. Take time for you…
I have recently understood the power of the word NO. After what has been a very stressful year, I have really valued my own company and taking the time to do the things that make me happy. Too often we worry about others and what they think and become concerned more about their feelings than that of our own. In order to find inner peace that needs to stop. You have to be brutal and honest with others to ensure your inner peace doesn’t get affected. Say no when you need to, say yes when you want to and focus on doing the things that make you happier.