So here’s the thing. Even if you do feel like you’re on track or whether everyone around you feels you have your ish together. It doesn’t mean you feel a’ok every single day. I do believe there does exist a group of people within this world who are happy and satisfied more times than they’re unhappy and unsatisfied and that’s fantastic. But if you’re like me. (an I’m guessing you may be as you’re still reading this hugely entertaining post) You will have does dark, rancid and dreaded days where motivation isn’t your best friend, you want to be away from people, you really want to not speak on the phone and be in your own head space and you just kinda want to be LEFT the hell alone.
If this is you or you get exactly what I’m talking about, you will also know even better than I do that if you remain in this head space. You will not be productive, you will become increasingly depressed and more worrying; even more isolated than before.
I’ve been there and I get it which is why I really wanted to pen a quick post on some tools I use to feel happier when life and all it’s twists and turns get me down. A most of you know; my site became a place for fashion and food only. But, my passion is developing people so you’re going to find more helpful lists on here too. Let me know in the comments or on my socials if this post helped you in anyway or feel free to share if you have any methods that you implement to heighten your mood.
So here it goes….
Write It Out…..
Writing can be so cathartic. With all the stresses that have reared their ugly head over the past few months; I managed to forget this key tool but writing in general and just fleshing your feelings and inner most thoughts can really bring about with it new waves of clarity. Reading over what you have written allows you to analyse the situation to make sense of it all. Holding is our stresses is the most dangerous thing as it can cause further anxiety and stress. Writing down how you feel means that you’re able to create an outlet for yourself that is non-judgemental and one that will allow you to go on for as long as you need to. If right now you’re struggling with something that has been detrimentally holding you back, write in down on paper, read it aloud, own that feeling and then rip the paper up. The action of ripping the paper will act as a signifier that you no longer have a space or a place for this in your life.
Listen to music
It really doesn’t matter how many lists like this one I have read over the years. Music is a great healer and can take you to a positive and higher place. I am a massive music fan and I have relied on music to lift me out of my darker moods. The most beautiful thing about music is just how happy it can make you feel. Be careful however to choose the right songs. As much as music is a great healer. Indulging in the wrong type (you know heavy metal of blues may not be the right options!) may have an adverse effect so make sure you listen to songs that will make you smile even if you really don’t want to. I’m going to create playlists and really share my passion for music more on this site because I’m growing less and less concerned by visits or views or reads or whatever you want to call it. I’m much more interested in sharing ALL my passions and music is definitely high up on the list. It really isn’t rocket science when choosing the right songs that will lift your mood. Put it this way; who doesn’t feel happy when they hear the song ‘Happy’ by Pharell Williams or ‘Lifted’ by Lighthouse Family?! (You get the drift).
Take a walk outside
Clean fresh air is an immediate mood lifter. I don’t know about you but when I sit in a small room where all I can see are the four corners, it really makes me feel that much worse. Going outside and just taking in the natural air is that more impactful and not only makes you feel good physically, but also benefits you mentally as it allows you to think out in the open and with this comes the ability to think more clearly. I have a park near me and when I’m not feeling myself and just need to disconnect for a while, I grab my coat, go for a walk breath in the clear air and re-align my thoughts and mindset. Most of what is getting you down right now is down to what you’ve ALLOWED to upset you. No-one can make you unhappy, only you can allow them to. Taking charge of how you feel is a big part of that battle but stepping out of the box physically and venturing outside can honestly work wonders.
Talk to someone
I don’t assume that everyone has someone they feel close enough to speak to because unfortunately, not everyone does. But if there is a chance that you do have someone in your circle who you can speak to, please do. The act of speaking is a powerful one and is as cathartic as writing. Giving a voice to your problems doesn’t mean you relinquish power to them, in fact; it does the absolute opposite. It allows you to acknowledge it and realise the effect it has had over you. However, once you share your problems you will learn that a problem shared is a problem halved. Speaking to someone else also helps to gain more clarity as they may be able to provide you with advice or a solution that you may not have thought of. If you don’t feel there is anyone you know that you feel comfortable or able to talk to, reach out to charities like The Samaritans . Too often there is a stigma behind admitting that you may be struggling. But in order to move from where you’re, you need to allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. Sharing your struggles is by no means a sign of weakness but is more a sign of true strength.
Allow yourself to feel
How often have you felt guilty for feeling low? Men especially struggle with admitting if they’re not feeling happy and for some reason believe it makes them less of a man to admit they’re having a hard time. There is nothing wrong with feeling low sometime. Life is hard and it will throw curve balls at you over and over again. Understand most importantly that you’re human, flaws and all. You won’t be happy 100% of the time, whether it is a choice or not! Pressures will undoubtedly take their toll and there will be times when you will wonder why you’re pursuing that goal or chasing that career, or studying for that diploma. Many things will become questionable.
Here’s the thing, in order to move from an unhappy state to a happier place, it is important that you allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling in that moment. Faking it till you make it in this instance will not work. Recognise how you’re feeling, scream it out, write it out, talk it out, walk it out, just ensure you take whatever measure you need to take in order to get back to your best self.
Remember a bad day, week, month or year will never equate a bad life. You deserve to be happy but always note that it is an inside job and one that you need to continually work at.
Love and light