2015 was the worst year of my life. A number of decisions; not well thought out and more down to impulse than anything changed my life forever. In one swipe my health had deteriorated and I faced the biggest battle going forward of getting my body to feeling some form of normality. I made the mistake of believing wholeheartedly that no matter what happened, no matter what took place; I’d always have the people and life I had. However, after being served some of the coldest words I have ever heard.. I faced the harsh reality that there would be no going back. It was over and there would never be any changing that. For the next 24 months I worked on piecing my life and more vitally myself together.
I was very blessed to have my mother on side who saw everything and helped me through everything. I honestly didn’t see myself pulling through it and I no longer wanted to go on. There was the contemplation of stopping my magazine, stopping blogging and moving away. I needed a fresh start and leaving where I was seemed like the only answer.
However, I was reminded by someone close to me that ‘winners never quit and quitters never win’. I’m a winner and for a period; I forgot that.
I have no idea why I allowed myself to slip in the way I did. Let’s just say, for a period of time I didn’t feel I was capable of changing my life without the help or assistance of a man. I had lost myself and my identity and I was entirely to blame.
Today I write this because the tough times, once in a while rear their head. However, this is in fact the story of all of our lives; no matter who we are, we all go through difficult situations. But you know what? you grow through what your go through and I feel that what I have gone through has developed my attitude to life and I’m now more mature and understanding of myself than I have ever been.
I feel that for the past 2 years I have simply confided in the wrong people and as a result; they have perhaps recognised this vulnerability and have either led a hand in order to get me to help them with something in return, or they have felt that due to the information I have shared; that they can come and go as they please.
The fact is however is that I won’t tolerate any nonsense from anyone anymore. I have distanced myself from many people over the years who I don’t feel are FOR me. I don’t give a second thought to moving away from people who I believe will and have the potential to hurt me.
You could say I’m much more guarded now and I describe myself as being the most anti-social social person you will ever meet because I’m not reachable to most.
I’m tougher now however and I’m thankful for all the events that have transpired because without them, I wouldn’t have the mindset I have now. Here’s to being tough, beautiful and resilient.
About my outfit…
Honestly, don’t you just love this look? This was an outfit that I threw together in record time as I wanted to step out of my usual box and create something different to my usual ‘stylish but safe’ looks. This top is so beautiful. When I walked into H&M recently I had to have it as it was unlike anything I owned at the time and I knew it would help me to create breath-taking images. The top was £19.99 and was worth every penny. Even as we are now transitioning into Autumn, I am still very much a major fan of tassels and I actually picked up this skirt last summer. Apart of the H&M and Coachella collection, this skirt is gorgeous. It cost me £12.99 at the time and is one of the best buys I have ever made. I decided to keep the Perspex heels on from my last look; from Ego they are so versatile and got with everything.
If you follow my blog or if you check me out on my socials, you will know that I love experimenting with a number of wigs and hair pieces. Hair is an accessory and I never take it too seriously. Instead, I like to change up my look and wigs and hair pieces allow me to do that. This time around I rocked black hair and it was the perfect choice.
In my opinion, this is my best look to date but what do you think?
Until the next post……